Coordinator, CHADD of Utah
Navigating life with ADHD can be complex and emotional. Thankfully, there are some great tools that will help children and families with ADHD function happily.
Have your children help make the rules, make the consequences, and post the rules in multiple places throughout the house if you want them to remember. Help your children go at their pace. Don't rush them.
Children with ADHD need to develop problem solving skills. Sometimes children get stuck, so give them options on how to do the task. There are always different routes.
Give your child immediate feedback. Review strategies on how to manage ADHD, so that it's not just about a misbehavior. Help them see when they are doing something right. Every time your child is doing something right, reinforce that. Whether it is a sticker sheet, a reward at the end of a period of multiple tasks, or a compliment, help them build confidence in the things they do right.
When you wonder why your child is not doing what you want them to do, it may be that they didn't hear you. They may have been distracted for a moment. Talk to your child face to face. Observe if they are absorbing what you are saying and if they seem distracted, have them repeat it back to you. When you need to correct them, do it quietly with a gentle touch on the arm or a pep talk in private. Be sure to not embarrass them.
Your instruction should be clear with individual steps. For example, take a picture of what their room needs to look like when they clean it. Your child may need a picture for each step. When your child with ADHD is working, let them do it in short segments. They can come back to their tasks. Sometimes we need to praise them for partial finishing, for the little things. Reward them for improvement, not perfection. Children with ADHD are consistently inconsistent. They may not remember the rules and may need help navigating the same task multiple times, even if they did it right a few times before. Always help them see the positive.
ADHD is a physiological condition. When deciding if a child needs medication, realize that it is the choice of the parent and the child. Talk with your doctor and research medications. A teacher should not say the a child must be medicated. Usually, a medication could help a child calm down enough to learn.
There can be several issues for parents of children with ADHD. Parents may have the same condition. Parents have to deal with multiple issues like work, sports, schools, other children, and keeping a clean home. Parents may get negative messages from neighbors or schools that the parenting needs to improve, however, this may not be the case. If a parent struggles with their child's issues, try to not be at odds with your child. Show unconditional love. Mothers may often get depressed because they want to fix the problems, but celebrating one's own strengths is important as a parent.
There is hope for your child with ADHD. Solutions for the child include consistency from both parents and follow through with consequences. Make sure consequences are for the non - negotiable rules such as if a behavior hurts others or self. Clarify your expectations. Use enforceable statements without anger. Try not to use a consequence like, "If you don't clean your room, you are grounded for a month." Statements like that end up grounding the parent. Delay consequences if you or the child are emotional. Wait for five minutes to calm down.
Maintain a sense of humor! Ignore the small behaviors that don't make a big difference. Ask yourself if it really matters. Learn to laugh through difficult situations. Keep a disability perspective because a child with ADHD may look normal, yet needs the extra tools. They may have a 30 percent emotional and developmental delay. Learn where your child levels exist. Remember that parenting is not easy and simultaneously be grateful for the small victories your child makes.
